DASAKU駄作
a little bit of information about itself
Throughout my continuous existence as this sort of "eldritch-esque" being I am, I suffer and continuously lose sight of myself in this vast sea and who I am, suffering and struggling with my own identity that feels like a mess, I often myself find unsure of what to do and change alot rather fast, with no pace of slowing down. I lack understanding of myself as I am stuck and trapped in this flesh prison that is my body, keeping my soul imprisoned underneath it's cell that confines me and tries to drown me into the grim ocean that is my mind.
I would consider myself as an sort of explorer, like many, experiencing great games, literature and what not that more or less people have heard of which just made me go in deeper this rabbit hole, finding new untamed and wild lands which only gets darker and darker further you go down, I desensitized myself to alot of things, it kinda scares me. I wish I could just go back home to the cozy and warm village I was once in. I wish I could return to my cradle and just do things all over again, painting over every aspects of my life. I can't go back to this warm and yet ignorant village, knowledge is nice but what difference would it make if I could just be like everyone else? Sure, I'm "unique" but what good is there in being "unique"? I feel like everything i slipping away from my hands and I struggle to make any life-long relationships due to me constantly changing. I wish I could shapeshift, I wish I could bend my body in whatever way I wished it to. It hurts alot, to think of how far I've gone in all those negative emotions swelling inside me.
But, this time. I'm glad.
I feel like I've finally found the treasure I wanted to look for so long, a visual novel about gender identity that depicts it's horrific violence and gruesome scenes through brutality and gore, a fascinating cast and a visual novel that I could have never expected to ever be out there, but now it's finally in my hands, it's something I could grab and handle. It wasn't going away from me. It's a visual novel that'll stay with me forever.
As goes with everything, this visual novel is not meant for everyone but that is not bad at all, for people like me, having the framework to understand how poignant this story is as it expresses the many façades and views on identity, and I wish I had the words to exactly express everything about this visual novel but I'm completely lacking in that department, but the fact that it uses so much of it's guro to represent body dysphoria and far more... Is something I want to be able to, I wish I had Hiroshi Harada's way to express it's brutal yet vibrant emotions, I wish I had Qiu Miaojin's way to have her emotions explode all over in such a harmonous manner, and Dasaku for me have alot of similarities to this film director and author, they're as if a grand explosion releasing every bit of it's emotions.
This could be something really important in the future, atleast I would like it to be, it's familiar enough to me, yet so different from anything I've ever experienced, I hope that one day it'll be able to wake up more queer people not just in Japan, but in this whole world aswell, atleast I can only pray. Thank you so much, CYCLET for allowing me to experience this.